Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Just Good Friends

Seven weeks into devolution Ian Paisley and Martin McGuinness faced questions [officially called give evidence] on their plans for government in the potentially volatile surroundings of the OFMDFM committee. Would this mark the first day of the start of "a-battle-a-day" policy? No chance.

The most startling thing to come out of the meeting, was not the vague aims they set themselves for government until 2011, but that Ian and Marty's rapport has moulded into what appears to be a genuine regard for each other, in fact it was more like a full-blown friendship. There were times that they looked as much at ease as life-long pals sharing a good old yarn, instead of being quized by a scrutinising committee.

Things turned from good humoured to downright jovial as Ian Paisley mentioned progress made with Alex Salmond on a new ship going from North Antrim to Scotland. Martin McGuinness said they were willing to "jointly captain the ship" which Ian, judging by the fact that we could count his molars, thought was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. He responded saying that Martin would want to take it to Rathlin and the pair went into convulsions.

Sharing in the astonishment of on-lookers, the committee chair Danny Kennedy (UUP), who is one of the few true comics of the Assembly, asked:
"What is the relationship between you guys?"
"It's not a love-in, it's a work-in," said Martin defensively, while Ian stayed quiet.
"Well, what do you have to say on the matter Mr Paisley?" stirred Danny.
"What it always was," smirked Ian, "no change, not an inch and no surrender!!" as the pair went into fits of laughter again.

The sideway, disbelieving glances of veteran reporters just stood to highlight that this another step in Ian and Martin's breath-taking transformation from adversaries to best muckers.
Even when the conversation turned to the very choppy waters of the 'Disappeared' and the McCartney murder, Ian held back, saying in a tempered tone that he had "very frank discussions" with Martin on the matters in private. In the past this would have been a launchpad for a prolonged out-burst punctuated by numerous "Sinn Féin/IRAs", but not today.

Likewise a question from one of Martin's Sinn Féin colleagues about a report showing that Catholics were two and a half times more likely to be unemployed than protestants didn't get a rise from the Deputy First Minister.
The chances of an outburst involving the phrase "800 years" from Martin were multiplied tenfold as Ian said that he didn't pay much heed to reports no matter where they came from as he could dig out reports showing equal discrimination against protestants.
The old Martin would have started regaling us about the time he didn't get a job as an apprentice mechanic in the capital of discrimination on the river Foyle because his surname was spelt differently from Ken Maginess' - but the new Martin diplomatically, (or if you prefer evasively) said he hadn't seen the report.

Bemused by the lack of fireworks Danny Kennedy pointed out that it was a serious matter and the report highlighting the discrimination had emanated from OFMDFM officialdom and had even bore Martin's signature, but still he got no rise from Martin.

As the meeting came to a close Ian said that he was glad his "friends in the press" were going away "biting the ends of their pencils" as they did not get their predicted "holy war", but little did he realise that we in the press room were scribbling frantically as we tried to keep track of this unholy alliance unfolding before us.

What this all means is hard to say at this stage. Will they tred so carefully to protect their relationship that they will be too willing to compromise, leaving them vulnerable to acusations of neglecting their beliefs/manifestos? Or will the whole arrangement just work?

As Danny Kennedy thanked all those for participating in the meeting, he made one last bid to spark a row by saying to Ian and Gerry Kelly - who had remained silent through out the two hour session:
"I'd like to thank the Juinior Ministers for their decorative value and their wisdom as well."

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