Back To School

Stormont was frantic today. Having been constrained for so long by suspension of the Assembly, many of the members of the various committees were desperate to make clear their intentions for the coming months.
Stormont's main hall was reminiscent of the first day back in school after the summer break, when the students are enthusiastic and determined to do well in the semester.
"What you got today?" "Double Regional Development with Murphy in class 144!"
The Committee for Regional Development considered drawing up a list of priorities for the coming months, but there is one giant issue which dominates the list - water rates.
With the media's unquenchable thirst for all things water rates, there weren't enough seats for all the journalists at the meeting.
After half an hour or so, the Minister for Regional Development, Sinn Féin's Conor Murphy, waltzed into the room and told all present that the terms for the water rates review, announced by Ian Paisley at last week, would be drawn up within a few weeks and the review would be concluded by the autumn.
Much to the annoyance of Fred Cobain, chair of the meeting, Gordon Brown's pot of gold is crucial to the workings of that review. Fred is afraid that if the well of cash from Brown runs dry after financing the first year of water services, the consumer will be left with a bitter taste in their mouth - for he insists they will be the ones left to foot the bill.
Meanwhile the eager beavers of the Committee of the Centre, (the OFMDFM's committee) were exploding with ideas on what they wanted to tackle - but no-one was entirely sure what was within their remit.
Could they dump the defunct Civic Forum? Why are public sector jobs not located in towns west of the Bann? What was the deal with 20 month backlog at the Planning Appeals Commission, oh and what about the report of the interim Victim's Commissioner? Oh, and when will we see the Single Equality Bill? They may as well have been asking what was pi's final digit for all the answers they got.
Another issue was whether they will become embroiled in any dispute over the national stadium debate, as they have some form of oversight power for the regeneration of the Maze-Long Kesh area.
Probably thinking he had tread carefully by not calling the former prison 'the Maze', the committee chair Danny Kennedy was surprised, or maybe more amused, by Barry McElduff's contribution to the discussion.
The Sinn Féin MLA insisted that the Maze-Long Kesh project should be referred to as a multi-sports stadium, and not the national stadium, as Croke Park is in fact the national stadium.
Whatever its status, the committee are going on a field trip to see the Maze-Long Kesh in the coming weeks, permitting Kennedy (who McElduff earlier reminded was in a position of neutrality)the opportunity to display his ascerbic wit - remarking that some of the committee might already be familiar with it.